Synopsis: This book is about a suicidal 16 year old physics nerd named Aysel. After her father’s violent crime took her small town by storm, she has no friends left, and classmates who whisper behind her back. When she doesn’t have the courage to commit suicide alone, she finds a website for exactly that, she meets a suicide partner named Roman but they start to become close. Eventually she starts to question whether she wants to go through with it, or convince Roman to live so they can continue to be together and see where it goes.
First off I give this book a 4 out of 5 stars because there was something that I didn’t really like but overall it was still a good book. Something the author did really well was handling depression and giving the characters good backstories. Also going into how both their families are affected by these backstories, and how they all deal with things in different ways. I liked that Aysel and Roman didn’t instantly fall in love at first sight, they had an interesting ‘I dont want to get too attached’ kind of dynamic for the majority of the book. The physics aspect of the book also made it better, because there is something so pleasing about listening to someone talk about a passion of theirs. I believe when you can clearly tell a character is passionate they become more 3D.
“I think his potential energy is guarding him against the pain of his world, saying, smile, it will be over soon, and Wrap yourself up and you wont feel so much. Maybe even in death, his energy will live on.”
The way the ending bothered me first, was that it was really predictable, second I found it to be a bit rushed. So even though the ending wasn’t very satisfying to me, it did make me happy that she had more than just a boy as a reason to get better, it was also her family and her future in physics. Overall there was definitely a relevant message, and it portrayed mental illness in a very realistically way, not glamorizing it (which sadly does happen sometimes). If it sounds like something you would like then I definitely would recommend it.